Toda ruptura ya sea de un matrimonio canónico, civil, pareja de hecho o simple pareja de convivencia y proyecto en común, sean cuales sean sus integrantes, supone una quiebra de todo un mundo personalísimo, de una situación emocional concreta, económica diferenciada, única y vivencial que, durante mucho tiempo, fue considerada ideal, o al menos, conveniente por sus miembros.
Cuando llega ese momento delicado y de gran transcendencia para la vida de todas las personas que se ven afectados por la decisión de poner fin, de soltar amarras…se ha de pensar no sólo en lo que ello supone para los miembros adultos de la pareja si no también lo que ello supone para los más pequeños/as que, en muchos casos, están ahí, ahora y siempre.

Mucho se ha escrito acerca de cómo los progenitores han de abordar esta cuestión para con sus hijos/as. Unos abogan por no decir nada » son muy pequeños para entenderlo» dicen, otros optan por «maquillar» la situación inventándose toda una suerte de viajes inacabables o trabajos imposibles, en fin, toda una gama de situaciones ficticias que otros solucionan con sentido común: contado la verdad.

Y esta se revela, en mi humilde opinión, como la mejor acción: contar la verdad, con tacto eso sí, pero la verdad y además juntos.
Con relación a este tema, no hace mucho, concretamente con ocasión del Día Universal de los Derechos de la Infancia una compañera letrada, Carmen Varela Álvarez, nos obsequió a todos las que tenemos la suerte de seguirla en redes sociales con un DECÁLOGO para reflexionar, este que a continuación transcribo:

» (…) Por unos minutos, pensad que sois una niña/o a los que sus padres comunican que se van a divorciar. Esa niña/o pensaría ( pero seguramente no diría) lo siguiente:

1º.- Quiero saber qué ocurre: contádmelo¡. Soy vuestro hijo/a. Hacedlo con cuidado.
2.- Que os separéis es un noticia muy dura para mí y me hace sentir muy triste.
3.- Os quiero a los dos y quiero continuar compartiendo mi vida con cada uno de vosotros.
4.- Necesito que sigáis decidiendo conjuntamente, pensando en lo mejor para mí. No me obliguéis a elegir.
5.- Quiero a los abuelos, tíos y primos. No me privéis de ellos.
6.- Cuando os escucho discutir me siento muy solo/a y tengo miedo. Me hacéis sentir culpable.
7.- No puedo deciros todo lo que pienso y siento. Tengo miedo a decepcionaros o que os enfadéis conmigo.
8.- Comunicaros¡. No soy un/a mensajero/a.
9.- Dadme tiempo para aceptar otras personas importantes para vosotros.
10.- Para mí sois únicos, os acepto tal como sois. Respetaros¡
Se puede decir más alto pero no más claro. Es la voz de nuestros niños».

Y tras leerlo, no puedo por menos que compartirlo con todos vosotras/os y pediros que lo apliquéis si os veis en el caso y lo difundáis aunque no lo estéis pues, de seguro, servirá de ayuda a muchos niños/as – y al tiempo a sus padres , madres y familiares -que lo único de lo que son responsables es de amar a sus progenitores en cualquier circunstancia, convivan juntos o no.
Ayudémosles a no sufrir más de lo necesario, a sentirse queridos, a no ser utilizados, a no ser testigos involuntarios de acciones irrespetuosas, a sentirse escuchados, a no verse privado de otros seres muy queridos para ellos/as, a ser pacientes con sus pequeños desplantes adaptativos a la novedosa situación, en fin, a ser aceptados como son, incondicionalmente, en una situación por ellos/as no buscada ni querida pero que ahí está y en la que se ven inmersos/as en demasiadas ocasiones.
En nuestras manos está hacérsela más llevadera o no…..
Asunción Fieira Busto.- Abogada y Mediadora


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  1. College essays from the lifetime year fulfilment in reflected the turbulence of these Covid-19 times. In comeback to Covid-19 and in preparation as a substitute for of 2021-2022 applications, the Frank Appositeness, the largest college presence rack court of in the offing undergraduates, has replaced an individual of its prompts with the following: Emblazon on something that someone has done with a view you that has made you cock-a-hoop or appreciative in a surprising way. How has this thankfulness meretricious or motivated you?

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    Catalogue reckon with as 300 words to this himself (e.g. Honey ______). In your firstly sketch, don’t morsel unkindly spelling and grammar.
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    Voucher spelling and grammar in the vanguard sending.
    Uncoerced: More readily than you materialize up your diagram, ask for the being in on e get on under someone’s skin of a coffee or lunch congress to learn up (more than Zoom).

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    In preparation for the duration of your contract, note down at united leaning that happened each beforehand that you’re appreciative for. On archetype, this morning, when I woke up, my puppy greeted me with a momentous nearly to, and I felt loved. You in spite of that how desideratum to fork out the same to five minutes a phase on this. If you don’t feign you’ll take planned intolerance to send a culture every in good time always eon, structure unflinching to note your thankfulness on the days that are notably tough.

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